Reality, the other side to it…

Motherhood is not all the time an easy walk in a wonderfully scented rose garden. It can be really hard, taxing, draining, exhausting, frustrating, challenging… so much that I have considered so many times that I should have just one child. Just get my tubes cut, not tied as most ladies do so; cutting means there is no 0.0001% of getting pregnant again, its 100% full proof! He is definately no amused about this and he may have a good reason to…

Anyhu, one may be like, what the heck is she on about? Parenthood is the most wonderful and fulfilling job in the world but the reality is that it is not only that. It also entails un-selfishness (not a problem for me, comes naturally), constant lack of sleep (so an issue for me), hard work (kawa), prioritising and serious time input (sometimes an issue, interferance of work), patience (a problem at times)… that is basically a summary although there is much more.

So when you do finally decide to increase the population of the world, do remember that despite all the joy that comes with it, there is another side to it. 

My not  wanting to have more children is seriously bugging him. When my friends start asking mbu,

“Omuzako di?” (When are you going to have another child?)

and my reply is,

“How about never?!”

they are in shock and say,

“Omwana tebamuzala omu!” Direct translation, a child is not born alone.

But at the end of the day, they will not be there when the child wakes up at 2.30am when you had just put your head down at 1am and she wants to play until 6am when you have to get ready to go to work… and then doze at the office like its your proffession!

Or when the child is sick and the wonderful day comes when the child is well and being discharged from the hospital, you are presented with a bill that is just about 4 times your gross salary!

The thing is, I would love to have a cute little girl who looks like Rhys, dress her all in pink, braid her hair and do all the girly things. Besides that, Rhys loves babies. Its amazing, whenever we have a baby visiting at home, all his attention is focused on the baby. It is so sweet; he carries the baby, helps with the feeding and even gently soothes the baby in such a loving and protective way. I know that he will make a very good big brother for his siblings…

… but will he have any siblings? 

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10 comments on “Reality, the other side to it…

  1. Even if it were 0.000001%, a millionth of my sperm will break the fortress.
    Sigh…
    I guess that’s what happens when gals insist this is the last tot.

  2. Ayi. Omwana muzeeko mangu, mangu! Frankly, nobody was designed to not have siblings. There is no real excuse for making your child miss out on the social training of sibling rivalry, sharing, the consciousness of fairness and unfairness, struggle for identity, love, bickering and stuff.

    Zaalayo obulala nga mukaaga bwokka, bwokka.

  3. wamma cut away!!! then u can tell me abt process..healing blah blah blah.. i only want to use sure things
    these things of trying then a little tot turns up for free… i donnwwwwwwwaannnaknow!

  4. I agree with you. Those that are saying you should have more children, because of traditional values or whatever, are not going to be there in the middle of the night. They will only come when the baby has been fed and is asleep. So, if you don’t want to have more children, it should be you and your husband’s decision, not because society says you should. Society won’t raise the child or babysit, you will.

    Nice blog.

  5. interesting post..my pal is about to give birth..and her bwana is already talking bout the next..she’s not amused (reason bn all day sickness plus other pregnancy problems)..

    but will you be happy with just one child? end of the day its u and ur hubby’s decision..not the rest of the world’s…siblings are the best though..

  6. I AM NOT A MOM YET BUT MY SIS IS PREGNANT AND SHE IS SO TORTURED BY JUNIOR WHO IS BARELY 3 MONTHS… AND I AM THINKING WHAT? MOI AUSSI? AH NON! NOT VERY SOON, IF I DINT HAVE KIDS I WOULD NOT MIND BY THE WAY. THE THOUGHT PARALYSES ME

  7. eeeeh!!!! mukyala name sake don u think u are subduing before multiplying gal as the saying goes in Genesis’ you know!!!

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