Bitching

I am a 40D. For y’all who are of the male species and have no clue what I am on about, that is a bra size. Yeah, I know it is a large bust. Once upon a time it was a 36C, it seems like such a while back and in those days I  used to think it was huge. When I would hear of people being able to get ‘reductions’ done, I would wish that it was affordable for some of us… and then it goes and gets bigger!

But that is not what I want to bitch about. Peeps with big boobs are not taken care of in our beloved country. Yes, my issue is about not being able to get good bras my size. The shops/ stores where it it ispossibleto get them, the prices are for world cup! When Mr. Price opened, I thought my prayers were answered for I didn’t have to ask my friends who were in outside contries to get for me some. When I checked their store out, there was a variety in different designs and colours which totally suits me so I was determined to be one of their regular customers for the lingerie. So some time last month I went there armed to the teeth with dimes to get some lingerie, specifically the bras. I zeroed in on the various designs that I wanted but on checking for my size, there is nada except some ugly non-underwired ones! And the sales chick tells me,

“Sorry madam. Very many customers have complained but ‘they’ have not done anything so far.”

So I ask her if there is hope of bringing some in the larger sizes and she says that possibly at the end of the month. I haven’t gone back to check for knowing Ugandans, they will most likely be there some time during Christmas.

I have the same problem with Enka Rasha in Garden City. There are some lovely bras there but the largest is a 34 C.Why  are they all hating on the big busted chicks?! This is Africa, we are naturally richly endowed! They better recognize!

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Negligence at Mulago!

I am stark raving mad. Unhappy. Sad. Felling very very very vengeful but do not have a particular person or people to throw my vengeance at so I will just throw it at the whole institution.

A friend, Lily, was expecting her second child within the last few days. When her contractions started she went to Mulago Hospital where she had registered to have the baby. Now Lily is not a pushy chick who knows what she wants and can stand in a crowd screaming her head off if she needed to get the attention. So when she got to the hospital, as many people know, Mulago is a general-happiness place and the best way to get the medical personnel’s attention is by giving them some paper which is highly valuable. Lily is there in pain and mbu there are not enough doctors so no one is really paying attention to her so she waits in pain.

After a while, she tells peeps I am in serious pain. Some medical students are assigned to her. On checking her, they realize that the baby is not in the right position to be born. But they tell her everything will be alright and she will deliver the baby normally. She begs them to take her to the theater and have a caesarean birth so that her baby can survive. Do they listen? No instead turn her into a medical experiment. And the baby also wants to get out into the world and so she makes her entrance by shoving her arm out. Even at this point the doctors are still moving like snails and yet it is an emergency but finally do take her to the theater. In the mean time, Lily is gently touching her baby’s hand which is responding and therefore comforts her that the baby is alive and alright.

After almost 10 hours of this drama, she inevitably blacks out. But just before she does, she hears one of the doctors say,

“Do you really thing the baby is going to survive all of this?”

And she didn’t.

Her baby died.

Not because she did something wrong during her pregnancy.

Not because she was careless by maybe having that red wine that was so tempting.

Not because it was an unwanted pregnancy and therefore she decided to terminate it.

No.

It was because of those bloody f****** at those hospitals who couldn’t get off their bloody asses and do their jobs!

Why are they there?!  We  would rather have an empty hospital and know that we shouldn’t bother going there because there is no help to be gotten from there!

Aaaaarghhh

Idiotic men are lucky that some of us of the female species do not have:

A. Guns

B. Weapons like tazer guns

C. Super hero Powers, most importantly

Now let’s get something straight before I go on, “idiotic men” means men who are idiots and not that I am calling all men idiots. Understood? Now moving on…

To get to the heart of the matter, during a recent evening this week, after having a wonderful time chilling with my girls, I was in the park making my way to the taxi with a considerable amount of migugu, looking forward to getting home to my wonderful baby boy when I feel something on my butt. After a few seconds I realize that a guy has just deliberately touched my butt. The guy disappeared in the throng of people and taxis, that is the organized chaos that is the old taxi park . And it was a dark night.

At that point, all I wanted to do was scream WHAT THE FUCK! What the fuck is wrong with such idiotic men?! Do they think that just because one look at me makes them horny it gives them the right to just touch me! Even he doesn’t just touch my butt just like that or wherever because he knows how I feel about it.

On my way home, all I could think about was what I would have done had I had the powers I have always admired in a superhero: Jean Grey’s a.k.a. The Phoenix of the X-Men. Take your pick of whichever form of revenge you think would have been best:

*Slowly lift him off the ground and send him straight to where the LRA rebels are hiding and put on him a sign that says, YES I HATE KONY AND WANT HIM DEAD.

*Get into his mind and brainwash him into thinking that he is impotent for at least 2 years as punishment. After this time lapse, warn him that if he ever disrespected any woman in any way or even thinks of it, all his bits will fall off.

*Give him nightmares of the feeling of constantly being circumcised while he has a hard on.

*Lift his idiotic self to the middle of a desert with only skunk’s urine as his means of food and water.

Ok, I don’t think these really seem vengeful enough but I was seriously upset about it. He even has got me to curse on my blog which I never do and yet this is a UNIVERSAL blog. 🙂

I guess there is something that is just not registering or has Never registered in my nut, guys, why do those idiotic men do something like that? This is a virtual stranger who does not deserve such disrespect. Someone kindly educate me.

Weight!

I have put on weight! Tis seriously alarming. And the alarm for me went off today morning.

I usually prepare my outfits for the week on Sunday and basically reconfirm it the evening before, its a chick thing boys so I will so understand if you don’t get it. Anyhu, so decided to wear a ka cute top I bought last month with a skirt I haven’t worn in like forever. So get up, do the necessary and then adorn the top and low and behold, tis too small! I almot had a small heart attack! I had tried it on last month and it was fitting so well! (stop laughing tandra). Crap, crap, crap! At that point wanted to use a few swearing words, but as a good Christain have to refrain, even on the blog since it is Universal.

The thing is that my weight usually flactuates, put on some and then it comes off naturally without me having to go on a diet or hit the gym so hard. But of late it has just been piling on and not leaving at any point. When I mentioned this to two of my closest friends, they said that it was because I am happy. That got me thinking, does that mean that small peeps aiint happy?

Don’t think that that’s the reason I am putting on weight. We have been going out a lot, basically eating “rich” food and as much as it is fun, I think I will start ordering for salad or some drama like that. Oh the horror…

I have never really stressed concerning my weight but now it seems like its a bit too much. The diet drama, no thank you. The solution will most likely be exercising but it really is not any fun… maybe dancing…

Anyone have a fast and painless solution for me?  

Taking things for granted…

Yesterday evening, I left the office late, decided to walk to town since the traffic jam was for world cup to meet a friend. Saw a nice looking babe in a lovely oufit and was appreciating her whole look when I noticed that I couldn’t see her right arm and just thought that maybe she had put it behind her back while talking to the dude she was with. On further “inspection”, saw that the sleeve was tucked into her blouse because she didn’t have a right arm!

Quite frankly, there could have been a number of things that caused hat but my first thought was that she was probably born that way.

When I was expecting Rhys, I watched on the news a piece about a couple appealing for financial assistance because they had had a child with no limbs whatsoever. My heart beat went into overdrive at that point. What if my baby had the same problem. Serious prayer ensued. This actually freaked me out so hard to the point that when Rhys was born, I asked if he had all his limbs, with all the fingers and toes then asked about the sex… of the baby that is (Iwaya can tell that your mind had started straying…).

Seeing that lady just reminded me of all this and made me realise that we really take a lot for granted… that everyone shall have a fully functioning body with all senses… that the sun will come out tomorrow… that we have good clohtes to wear (not so sure about you Mr. B2B)… that there is food on the table all day… that we can have a shower and live in clean homes… which reminds me…

Was on my way to work some time last week, walking again (banange I need a sweet ride, like a cute VW Beetle, like the one in The Mexican)… anyway, saw a lady who was sells newspapers, sweets, groundnuts and the like on the sidewalk giving her baby a bath right there on the street! The kid was sitting on a newspaper, had soap all over her and there was a guy standing next to the chick with a 500ml water bottle, I guess helping with the bath. I was speechless, thought it was a real kodak moment but some of us, unlike Iwaya and Tumwi, don’t walk around with cameras. But seriously, WTF! Poor child is being given a bath on the bloody street! I don’t even want to imagine what the rest of her life will be like… will it get better or will that set the pattern of her life?

Sheesh

Have you ever had days when it feels like your blood is boiling and your whole body is on fire? Not the good kind… And not because of the heat…

Work is causing that feeling for me at the moment. At one point, a client was speaking to me and I think I had an out of body experience. And all i wanted to do was walk away! So much stuff was thrown at me at once and our industry is a sensitive one, need to deal with clients using kid gloves so it just got to me.  Thinking of Rhys’ smile and remembering his laugh helped with bringing me back to earth, but still…

Thank goodness today is Thursday, need some good loud rock music to get me back to normal… but some chocolate can do for now.  

Goodness…

Scandalized so early in the morning!

I was in a taxi on my way to work at 7 something and when a smart looking babe sits next to me… looking like she was also headed to work. Listening to ‘Who Makes You Feel’, Dido (love her music) when this neighbour pulls out a roll on deodrant from her bag. 

Was like, okay… maybe she’s just going to look at it, examining to see if she got the right one or something. But no, she promptly removed the lid and did the unthinkable. Applied it to her armpits!

Scandalized!

Guess I should be thankful that it wasn’t a spray that she would have attempted to use and distributed to the whole taxi, killing some of our noses in the process.