Memories…

Yesterday evening I saw a young lady with a weave that had some blue hair in it. A bit strange, I know. One of my friends loved to briad her hair with blond and red extensions which combined with her black hair would make it a black, yellow and red compilation. This would make her head a walking Ugandan flag.

This got me thinking of the crazy stuff I wanted to do as a teenager.

  • Wear a black wedding dress.  White just seemed so boring since almost every bride wears it.
  • Get green contact lenses because they supposedly looked cool. That can be partially be blamed on the many novels that I was reading at the time. The redreal bheads with the green eyes were most of the time the special ladies who were considered real beauties. This led me to also yearning to dye my hair auburn (which I will one day do).
  • Study astronomy and become an astronaut. This one isn’t so bad for many children dream of becoming astronauts. I actually applied to a number of universities for this and got accepted to some really good ones but I wasn’t able to go.

Hormones can really work on a teenager’s common sense! I will have to remember that when Rhys gets to that strange age of change and starts to do the weirdest of things and ideas. And I imagine that with boys it can actually be worse. May God help us all!

Anger…

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry”
Ephesians 4:26, NLT

When I get angry or upset, I tend to lash out at the world. Especially if I am ‘scratched’, which may not necessarily be someone actually deliberately provoking me but something small. Like Rhys may decide to act stubborn and decide to write on the walls with his crayons 2 days after the house has been painted. Boy does he get the fill of my wrath at that point.

I hate doing this so I learnt long time ago, that at such times I need to first cool down before doing anything about it. The other thing was that getting angry or upset would mean you giving the person who caused it control over you. And I love to be in control so I learnt that dissipating it as fast as possible was the only way to get the power back. The techniques: breaking glass, watching a cartoon, listening to music, talking to someone who cares especially him but most importantly prayer. How do you deal with your anger?

This is some inspiration from Joel Osteen concerning anger:

Do you realize how much energy it takes to be bitter or hold a grudge? We only have a certain amount of energy for each day. If we use it for the wrong purposes, focused on the negative, dwelling on who hurt us, we’re not going to have the energy we need for the right purposes. We’re not going to make the best decisions. We’re not going to be as creative. We’re not only doing ourselves a disservice, but we’re doing our family and our friends a disservice.

Remember, you can’t control what people do or say. You can only control yourself. If you’re allowing others to upset you, then you are giving away your power. The Scripture says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” The reason many people have no joy or enthusiasm is because they go to bed every night with anger and unforgiveness. When you go to bed like that, with a cluttered mind, focused on the negative, you wake up with the same negative emotions. Don’t let anger and unforgiveness block God’s blessing in your life. Choose to let those things go so you can live in the peace, joy, and power the Lord has for you.

Loaded!

Last Saturday, I went for the Stanbic Bank AUTO & HOME Show like thousands of other people. I really really like cars so definitely did resist. So I ventured to the Spear Motors tent/ display area. Now the Spear Motors show room/ offices are places that I dare not to visit because at the moment I cannot afford any of their cars (the cheapest probably about $35,000) and I so do not believe in getting a loan for a car which depreciates in value with time.

Anyway, there were cards on the cars which  indicated the cost of the cars in US  Dollars. What really grabbed my attention was the 10% deposit also indicated on these cards. The gentleman in charge was busy with some other peeps so I asked one of the ladies at their desk about the 10%.  And she confirmed that all one needed to pay is 10% of the total value and the rest can be paid in installments over a period of 5 years. I was like wow, that seems like a good deal.

After this, I was trying to diplomatically run away by letting her know that the cars I was interested in were not there so I would visit their offices one of these days but she was not relenting and asked me which ones I wanted. Ko me, the Jeep and she said it is $80,000 and they would get it for me in 3 weeks. Then I asked her about my dream car, the M Class  which she said was  90,000 Euros. The price was even in Euros and not dollars. I was like eh mama, my car be cool like that! But seriously, 90,000 Euros on a car! Yes I will eventually get to that point where it will be as if champ change but for now, nah.

The interesting thing bit was that she called over the sales guy when he was finally free and the guy was seriously giving me details about the car including providing me with a booklet/ brochure. After I left, I wondered, did I look loaded enough to seriously consider buying that car?! Maybe it was the clothes I was wearing that day. But it did feel good to be perceived in that way.

In other news, before I left the house that day, Rhys said to me,

” Mommy, you are nice.”

Ko his Kaka,

“She is nice or she looks nice?”

The he said,

“Mommy you look nice.”

I thought that was sweet. Guess that confirms that it was the clothes that made me look loaded.

Detoxing Your Mind

Thought I would share some inspirational words from Joel Osteen…

We hear a lot about detoxing our physical bodies today from all the chemicals, bacteria and pesticides in our foods. It does our body good to go through deep cleanses and rid our bodies of toxins. In the same way, there are all kinds of toxins that can build up in our mind. When we go around dwelling on the wrong thoughts, thinking about what we can’t do, how somebody hurt us, what someone said we couldn’t do, and how we’ll never get ahead; those thoughts are toxic thoughts. And toxic thoughts left alone become like toxic waste. It will eventually contaminate our whole life. It affects our self-image. It affects our attitude and our level of confidence. It becomes a part of who we are.

That’s why it says in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else guard your heart for it affects everything you do.” The writer is saying to make guarding your mind a priority. Put this at the top of your “To Do” list because if your mind gets polluted, your whole life is going to be polluted. Every morning when we get up, we should go through this cleansing and detoxing. Forgive the people that have hurt us. Let go of every disappointment. Detox low self-esteem. Detox the negative words. Detox little dreams. If you will guard your mind and not let these toxic thoughts take root, but keep it full of faith-filled thoughts, you are going to rise higher and higher into new levels with God!

I missed him…

I missed his laughter…

I missed his contagious smile at a time when I want to kill him for something wrong he has done…

I missed his cheeky way of trying to get away with stuff…

I missed his warm welcome for me when I get home, him struggling to carry what I have brought and fighting to get into my bag to look for his chocolate treat…

I missed the way he sometimes acts all grown up by standing his ground and saying, I SAID NO! in such a sweet way for whatever he doesn’t want to do…

I missed his zeal for life and need to explore, to know what is beyond…

I missed his ability to drive me up a wall because he doesn’t want to follow what I am saying to him…

I missed his singing, Jesus in the morning Jesus in the noooo time…

I missed the essence of him….

…I missed my baby boy.

Rhys was sick last week. He had malaria and a stomach bacterial infection. So vomiting was like the order of the day… every half hour or so for the first two days. On Monday when all this drama started, even with all the vomiting, he seemed strong and was his usual jolly self. But then after a while, he started to seriously weaken probably because of the medicine and his loss of appetite which meant hardly eating or drinking. And the little he would have would end up coming all back after a short while.

It was so gut wrenching for me to see him just lying down on the couch most of the time during the day since he did not have the energy to be up and about, basically like he normally is.

God is our Saviour and hears our prayers… Rhys is now back to being him… but for those days, I really missed him.

Cookie, this is for you…

The sand loves when… the waves come
The sky can’t wait… for the light of the sun
So how could you look… me in my eye
And not see what…
what i feel inside
Tell me how could you, doubt the fact that I
I love you…
I love you

Don’t you ever think like that
Don’t you ever never do that
There will never be two things that go together better
Than you and me…
North needs south east needs west…
No needs yes yes yes
Up needs down life needs death…
No needs yes yes yes

I need you
I need you
I need you
You…I need you

 

 I Need You, Alicia Keys

I pray that you are well, safe and content. You will never be forgotten.

Okay…

The other day, he said to me, ” I can’t believe I will have to convince my wife to have children. It’s supposed to come naturally.”

He was referring to me not wanting to have any more children. Thought that was very intereting.

Guys, do you feel for him? Is it always a given that the female human species will want to have loads of kids?

Reality, the other side to it…

Motherhood is not all the time an easy walk in a wonderfully scented rose garden. It can be really hard, taxing, draining, exhausting, frustrating, challenging… so much that I have considered so many times that I should have just one child. Just get my tubes cut, not tied as most ladies do so; cutting means there is no 0.0001% of getting pregnant again, its 100% full proof! He is definately no amused about this and he may have a good reason to…

Anyhu, one may be like, what the heck is she on about? Parenthood is the most wonderful and fulfilling job in the world but the reality is that it is not only that. It also entails un-selfishness (not a problem for me, comes naturally), constant lack of sleep (so an issue for me), hard work (kawa), prioritising and serious time input (sometimes an issue, interferance of work), patience (a problem at times)… that is basically a summary although there is much more.

So when you do finally decide to increase the population of the world, do remember that despite all the joy that comes with it, there is another side to it. 

My not  wanting to have more children is seriously bugging him. When my friends start asking mbu,

“Omuzako di?” (When are you going to have another child?)

and my reply is,

“How about never?!”

they are in shock and say,

“Omwana tebamuzala omu!” Direct translation, a child is not born alone.

But at the end of the day, they will not be there when the child wakes up at 2.30am when you had just put your head down at 1am and she wants to play until 6am when you have to get ready to go to work… and then doze at the office like its your proffession!

Or when the child is sick and the wonderful day comes when the child is well and being discharged from the hospital, you are presented with a bill that is just about 4 times your gross salary!

The thing is, I would love to have a cute little girl who looks like Rhys, dress her all in pink, braid her hair and do all the girly things. Besides that, Rhys loves babies. Its amazing, whenever we have a baby visiting at home, all his attention is focused on the baby. It is so sweet; he carries the baby, helps with the feeding and even gently soothes the baby in such a loving and protective way. I know that he will make a very good big brother for his siblings…

… but will he have any siblings? 

Puzzled…

In order for a man to have sex, he has to be aroused, right? And this can only happen when something has gotten him “excited”, that he has seen, felt, imagined to make him “happy”, right?

My question is, is it possible for an adult man to be raped by a woman?

Seriously, does such a concept really exist?

Names

A friend after reading this post said nga the children at yours (translation, your neighbourhood) have funky names and I thought of the various names that Rhys could have had:

Aloysius (I so die)

Bakashabaruhanga (lovely but so loooong)

Chandler (lol…)

David (was my Dad’s name so definitely)

Eugene (don’t think so)

Floyd

Gandalf (ooooh….)

Hayden

Ian

Jedidiah

Keifer (you know!)

Liam

Matthew

Nigel

Olivier

Pete

Quentin

Ralph

Seven (I so like)

Tristan

Urban

Viggo

Wilberforce (yeah, with mob vigour)

Xavier (ooooh, I so like)

Yves

Zeus (munange, as a good Christian, I couldn’t)

So do you feel me?